The story of Hans Moleman

If you're a fan of the Simpsons, surely you've seen Moleman:



Well, I can't say for sure, but there's a very good chance he was named after me. Here's why.

Moleman's name was originally Ralph Melish. He first appeared in Season 2 (1992), and later, in Season 4 (1994), became a reoccurring character. But his first name was never mentioned, he was just called "Moleman". (This was because some of the writers thought he looked like a mole, obviously.)

Back in 1999, I started a little website for my streaming-video-over-broadband sales (which that technology was still in it's infancy back then), and I had one webcam. That quickly grew to 7 webcams, and a huge following (remember, this was before Facebook and Twitter, too.) Strangely enough, I got big in Japan - still am, but I don't know why. I never got naked, never did anything weird, just watched TV and lived my life. Also, being a huge Simpsons fan, I had their images all over my website (and since I knew the rules, they all linked back to Fox.)

Anyway, around early 2001, I got an email (and then an official letter) from Fox to Cease and Desist using any Simpsons images, and to remove them from my website immediately. I ignored it. A month or two later, I got an email from Matt Groenig - the creator of the Simpsons himself - who said he had been to my website, watched me on my webcams, and found me "strangely interesting", and that I had his permission to keep using the images, as long as they linked to the official Fox website, or to another part of my own.

Later that year, Moleman's first name was given in an episode of the Simpsons: Hans Moleman. Also, he claimed to be 31 years old - the same age *I* was in 2001. Not only that, but I was drinking a lot back then (I spent roughly $3,000 a month at the clubs on my favorite drink, Crown Royal), because, well, this was right after my divorce. Moleman uttered his now-infamous phrase, "Drinking has ruined my life!" in an episode of The Simpsons that year as well. Also, I walk with a cane, though that probably is a coincidence.

So, draw your own conclusions. ;)